I thought coming back to work would distract me from being down, it would if I had things to do. We are having a slow week right now. I have been spending my idle time shopping online. Figured a little retail therapy would keep me busy. At first, looking through items from my hobbies was keeping me busy, but then I saw a shoe add. What can I say? Heels are my weakness. I did refrain from buying, but I have several items saved on amazon. Oh well, I guess there are worse things. I hope everyone has a great day.
Hugs and kisses
I am on my last two days of vacation, we had visited the mountains and we were getting back to normal, well as normal as things get. Spending time with family should make me happy, but the whole time I have been off I have been down. I thought it was just nerves or anxiousness, but I still feel down.
About a month ago, I decided to try and quit crossdressing. I deleted all my accounts save this one. No more flickr, tumblr, or kik. At the time I was happy with my decision, I was working six days a week twelve hours days so I had no time to really contemplate my decision. All was good until we went down town Ashville looking around and passed a wig Shop. I good one with many styles. I just was able to look a little but saw many I would love. For the first time I really thought about what a had gave up. I enjoyed dressing. I loved getting dolled up, even if it is within the confines of my home.
The next day we went to a outlet malls. I saw so many dresses and skirts that I wanted to try. What had I done? Give up something that makes me so happy. I wanted to cry, but I am not allowed to show that side of me. I have to be strong for my family. We came home and I became so depressed. I am really in a funk that I can not seem to pull myself out of.
Fortunately, soon I will be going back to work. I can bury all this and hopefully under a pile of work.
Sorry my first post was such a downer.